Anxiety doesn't discriminate. You can have the best job, friends, family, support system, none of it matters when anxiety takes control of it all. Mental health is something a lot of people are ashamed of talking about. People think, 'I can't be the only one feeling this way' and you aren't, but society has a way of making you feel as if you need to keep it all inside.
I understand that feeling because that's what I've experienced for the past few years. I knew my family history and the battle with anxiety and mental health but I told myself I'd be better than that. When I was a teenager and my family told me about the anxiety that runs in the family, I thought 'there's no way I'd ever let that effect me.' Truth is, you can't control that because again: anxiety doesn't discriminate. Sure enough, anxiety has slowly but surely taken control of many joys in my life over the past year or so, including relationships, motivation to do things I love, and stress levels. Everyone assumes you have it all because of the job you have, car you drive, money you make. Often times, none of that matters because on the inside, you can be feeling the exact opposite and complete emptiness.
Putting on a face and masking those emotions is a problem with today's society, the society that is still trying to act as if mental health problems don't exist. But they do, they're real and that's why I've chosen to write this.
For years, I've been afraid of opening up to anyone about the battle inside of my own head. In fact, only a few people in my life actually know while the rest see the pictures posted on social media and the things I do for work thinking, 'wow, he just has it all.' In reality, I am lucky to have a girlfriend by my side who understands my problems, many times better than I even do. Anxiety can come at the worst time because again, it doesn't discriminate. It can drive insecurities, fear and worry through the roof and take control of your every day life, but it doesn't have to. You too, can be open with those around you because mental health is something we CAN be open about without fear of the push back.
Yes, this is exactly where I've wanted to be my entire life. I'm working in my hometown for a station that gave me a chance to gain experience when I was in high school. I love my coworkers, my station, everything about my job, but anxiety doesn't discriminate. Anxiety can take the motivation, passion, and love you have for something and rip it right from you hands without explanation. Then, you're left trying to describe to those close to you what's wrong with you or how you're feeling, when in reality, you yourself have no idea. Your heart will race, your mind will wander, you will in a sense, lose your focus on the world around you and you can't describe why or what is happening. Finding ways to cope with the anxiety takes time and it takes talking and listening, something that I've learned over the past few months especially.
Those that know me know I've always been a happy go lucky kind of person, always laughing and smiling, never showing when I have a bad day. The problem is that there are hundreds of thousands of people just like me -- and that's why I'm writing this. In today's world, it's easy to cover something up with a post of a picture on social media when beyond that post, that person could be struggling as well.
The moral of the story is never judge a book by its cover. Never think it's okay to say something 'jokingly' to somebody that you think can take it because that could be the point of their day that pushes them over the top. The happiest looking people in life can be those with internal demons as they continue to mask what they're feeling on the inside. It doesn't have to be that way anymore.
Again, anxiety doesn't discriminate and it's time we take a stance around the stigma of mental health. It's okay to not be okay. As for me, I'm fortunate to have the people around me that I do. My girlfriend and family have both been there for support and know when to talk and when to listen. I have people around me that understand the moods I can go through and how to help me fight out of it. However, for others, that may not be the case, so simply be nice to anyone and everyone. It's important for me to tell my story because those who are fighting through mental health issues don't need to hide it anymore, we can be open to talking about it.
I'm not writing this looking for empathy or attention, I simply wish to connect with others going through a similar situation.
Remember, no matter how beautiful somebody's life looks on the outside, they too, can be struggling. Be nice to somebody today and be that change that you one day want to see in the world.
